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I'm a mom of two that has spent 10+ years studying and working in the child development and family services field. From working with parents and children in countless different capacities to chasing down my own wild child at a family photoshoot, I KNOW it feels second-nature to be stressed bringing your kids to something like a photo session.
I'm here to tell you it doesn't have to be that way.
You're going to feel the urge to point at my camera and tell your littles to smile (I know, because I've done it, too); you're going to feel the urge to bring bags of gummy bears and bribe your kids to sit still and "say cheese" (again - no judgment - samesies); you're going to spend the day prior stressing over the nap schedule, their activities, your outfits, and your spouse's demeanor (it feels impossible not to, right?)
While I walk you through these tips on eliminating that stress, let's put it into action while I talk about this family photoshoot with the Narvaez family:
Taking the stress out of family photos: a step-by-step guide
Step 1: Open communication with your photographer
This was our second session together, so we had already built a bit of a relationship and I understood what this mom liked and was hoping for and I knew some of her boys' quirks and personality characteristics which led to an overall easier experience. For our first session, we went over any of her concerns, what she was hoping for or expecting for the final images, how old her kiddos were, things they enjoy doing as a family, energy levels, personality traits, etc. this allowed me to show up prepared for her specific needs and desires.
Step 2: Realistic expectations of your family
My mantra: we go in with a plan, with the flexibility to allow for the natural moments to take precedence as needed. If your littles are typically high energy, extroverted, and ready to explore - we might need to limit the amount of stillness that we ask of them and expect that maybe they won't want to snuggle and cuddle with mom the whole time. In the same way, if your kiddos are typically slow to warm up, calm, cautious of new surroundings, we may need to adjust the expectations accordingly and we won't be asking them to run joyfully through a field that they aren't entirely comfortable in. If your spouse or partner is shy of PDA or shows their affection through words rather than touch, we will adjust our expectations of kissing and touchy feely photos accordingly - making sense yet?
Step 3: Embrace the moments
If your little one is exploring and taking special interest in an interesting leaf or flower, that is not the moment for us to get their attention to look at the camera. That is a moment to lean into connection. Crouch with them and watch how they inspect the petals, the way that they carefully pluck the stem - ask them questions, and forget that I am there. Again, in the same way if your child is trying to get you to engage in a game of tag or they want to be held, we aren't going to ask them to sit still or stand by themselves to smile - I am going to encourage you to lean into their play or open yourselves up to their affection. That is how we capture your family's organic interactions for photos that show your connection in a way that feels authentic.
Step 4: Trust your photographer
This session was our second together and BOTH sessions called for rain day of. I always allow flexible rescheduling and am always happy to offer backup plans, etc, but for both of my sessions with this family, this mama really wanted this day, and really wanted these specific locations. Crazy weather not, she told me the same thing, two years in a row (down to the exact day):
As a professional, I will always advise if I think there are conditions that will hinder me from being able to adequately produce work that I would be proud of. Otherwise, if the conditions just aren't what was maybe hoped for or expected, I will always allow my clients to choose what they would like to do. This mama trusted me, and two years in a row with gloomy skies (and even getting rained on at times) we documented her family in a beautiful, cozy way that she was hoping for. Your trust allows us photographers to fully embrace our creativity and produce art that most heavily aligns with our best creative work. If we can tell that you are doubtful or untrusting, our confidence in the ability to serve you well can often get shaky. Your trust is what will lead to the images you are hoping for.
And, to be blunt, if you don't feel as though you can fully trust your photographer, that might mean you may want to find one that you can.
How I approach family photoshoots to foster a comfortable environment and alleviate outside pressures on anyone -
I will always put in the effort to get to know you, your family, your partner, etc. what you like to do together, personality quirks, family rituals, etc.
Not only does this allow us to build a foundational rapport, but this will also allow me to tailor your photo session specifically to your family. If you tell me that you are all introverts or that your kiddos are shy and your husband hates photos, I use that information to start slow and give very candid prompts that allow me to be more of a fly on the wall than a creative director. Likewise, if you tell me that you are a family that enjoys hiking, your kids never meet a stranger and are high energy and your spouse is a very affectionate person, then I may lean more into active and playful prompts, affectionate poses for you as a couple, etc.
I will give you space to be yourselves, both figuratively and literally
I do not direct throughout the entire session; especially not when children are involved. I will always go into the session with your goals in mind, do my best to knock those out at the beginning, and then use the rest of the time to step back and give you ideas of things to do with your family in a way that I can document organic interactions and connections. For example, if you tell me you want "a few smiling at the camera, and the rest candid of us spending time together" (the main thing that I hear from moms) then I gauge those posed smiles off of your spouse or your little ones levels of "camera excitement" - as I call it - and only ask for those when I feel that it makes sense. Otherwise I might give you games to play such as tag, ring around the rosie, scavenger hunts (all of these are based off of questionnaire answers that I ask you ahead of time in preparation) and from there I can step back, give everyone space, and document your time together as if it is not a photoshoot, but instead it is you making memories together.
You cannot be more awkward than me
It's the number one thing I hear "we're so awkward in front of the camera" "we don't know what to do" etc. Here's the thing: it's impossible to focus on your own awkwardness when you have me there constantly tripping over my own feet (all coordination goes out the window when I'm focused on photos), telling stories about my own life that will make you laugh and forget about your own craziness, and if anyone is making a mistake at our session - it's me - never you. I will be the one fumbling over my words and feet and talking way too much with my hands, etc. When I say it's part of my job to be a friend to you and make you more comfortable - I take that seriously.
Let's switch gears and talk about some of my favorite moments from this session with the Narvaez family - where all of the above was at play
With this being our second session together, I knew going into it what some of Mom's hopes were, and I knew how all three of her guys tend to interact together. As soon as they arrived, as we were walking to our spot in the field, it started sprinkling on us 😅 thankfully, as soon as we found our spot - it stopped. I did what I typically do and I tried to grab the whole group together for that first "smily" (I call them "grandma's fridge photos") pose and we went from there. One of my favorite things about this family is the connection between these two brothers. For certain things, younger brother needs a little extra encouragement and help at times, and his big brother is always the best cheerleader. I remember getting teary watching that during our first session together, and even with them being a year older, it was the same a second time around. I also knew that older brother is very outgoing and, like many boys his age, has a lot of energy, so I was quick to loop in conversations he could be excited about, games that would make him feel like a winner (and like he was getting that physical exertion out that he wanted) and ways to incorporate younger brother. With two brothers that have a connection like these two, it also made it easier on me to allow mom to have a small break and to give her and dad some space together to also get playful and cozy together. When I tell you they literally attempted a Dirty Dancing lift without even preparation or giving me the heads up I was blown away and also just having so much fun with it all.
We laid on the grass and spotted shapes in the many clouds above us, watched a helicopter fly by that Dad was training to fly, did a small scavenger hunt, and had the boys get mom's laughs going when dad lifted her up "Nicholas Sparks" style.
if you are hoping for raw, organic images of your family's connection but you're nervous about how your little ones will act at a photoshoot or if your spouse will be able to relax enough to be themselves, I would love to chat with you directly about getting you the photos that everyone will enjoy being apart of and that you will want to hang up in your home for years to come
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